Love ...

I never truely thought I could ever feel the way I do. I wish I could go back 11 years ago and change the decision I made. But I can't. But I am going to take full advantage of it now. I knew 11 yrs ago that I loved and cared about him. The week we spent together was the best week of my life. The way he looked at him. When he held my hand. The first hug, and the first kiss. It was something I never ever forgot over the years. Over 11 years I would talk to him here and there. Part of me wishing I had said how I truly felt. But I was so scared of rejection. Scared he didn't feel the same way. And then I just got to comfortable in the life I had. Even though I truly hated it. I was comfortable. I knew what to expect most of the time. I though I had known what love was. After 11 yrs the husband I thought I was madly in love with had gone away. And truthfully I wasn't sad for me. I was sad for my kids. For myself I kinda felt a big weight lifted off of me. About a month after him being gone I started talking to a lot of my old friends. And started learning a lot. That's when I decided to start looking up old friends and other people. And that's when I decided to look for him. And at first we talked here and there. And then just one day we really started talking, and talked on the phone and it felt perfect. It just felt right! The first 2 weeks talking, getting to know each other again was amazing. Then just some stuff happen. And I tried so hard to stay away. To ignore him. But I couldn't. So I tried to just be friends but I couldn't. I was in love with him. And I couldnt hide my feelings. And I couldn't stay away from him. After everything tho we finally decided to give it a chance. A week later finally after 11 yrs we met again. The moment I saw him I couldn't move or talk and I wanted to cry. And when we hugged I didn't want it to end. I wanted to stay in his arms forever. And that first kiss after 11 yrs. My heart melted again. I never thought I could be so in love with anyone. That first week together again was the best. Just the cuddling. And being near him. Kissing him, hugging him. Everything was just perfect. And then after a week and having to say goodbye was the hardest. I cried soo badly. I wish I could of gotten hum to stay forever. It's been almost 3 months. But it feels like soo much longer. It feels like we been together for Years. Every chance I get to spend with him, is like a dream come true. The hardest part now is being away from him. Not being able to wake up next to him every morning and give him a kiss. And being able to hug him. And being able to just lay in his arms. I truly wish I could lay in his arms forever. I never ever thought I could feel this way. I love him more then anything. And I just can't picture my life without him in it. It would hurt way to much to do that.