finally Happy =)

Part of me wishes i could back time and change where my life has gone. But i can't. All i can do now is move forward and be happy, which is what I am doing. I am finally taking the steps i need to, to improve my life. The first step is to divorce Dereke. I love him, i do. but i am not happy. and he has hurt me so many times. He treats me like i am nothing. always says hurtful things to me. I just wish i have realized soon that i didn't need him in my life. But i was so drowned by so many things, feelings that i was worthless and didn't deserve anyone else, always making threats that if i ever left him no one would find me. I was always so scared. And the other times he hurt me in other ways i never told anyone. :( I wanted to believe he was my prince. But i should have know from the beginning of our relationship, when all i did was work and all he did was spend my money. But i was so blind ... The other good thing i got out of this was my 3 beautiful babies. they are my world and i will do anything to make them Happy. But i am just so glad that I can finally be happy also. Its amazing how after 11 yrs 2 people can still have the same feelings for each other (even more enhanced). I truly regret staying with Dereke and not pursuing other options at the time. But all i can do is move on. And i really truly hope i have found someone to make me happy, and spend the rest of my life with. I honestly never thought love could feel this way. I never stop smiling anymore. I am just so much happier. I just want it to stay this way. The kids really like him, and He likes the kids. =) I just can not put into words how i feel. I can't find the right words to describe  how much i love and care about him. the fact that i never forgot about him over the past 11 yrs. i just can not express the love i feel! I just pray he feels the same things i do! I just want to have a family together. To just be happy =)