why me?

I just honestly don't know what to do, think or say anymore. cause no matter what i say or do its wrong anyways. all i try to do is make people happy, But obviously i can't make anyone happy. I just hate feeling the way i do. I hate always feeling unloved and unwanted. I've felt this way my whole life. I have always done everything wrong. and always screwed everything up in my life. I just wish i could understand what it is i do or so. why is it always me?! I hating making everything about me. But thats how everyone makes me feel. they all make me feel like I am such a horrible person. i just wish i could understand what it is that I do!! I try so hard to be such a good person. I just don't get it. I spent 11 yrs having someone tell me how useless i am, and how ugly i am and how no good i am. what did i ever do but love him and take care of him and support him in everything, But i always got shit on. I finally get the courage to say screw him, even tho i haven't been in love with him for yrs. But here I am again screwing up everything i have been fighting so hard for.  the person i have been fighting so hard for. But i am back at that point where i screw everything up. I do everything wrong. I just hate this. All i ever wanted was that happy famiy.